Disclaimer: This is entirely satirical.
Every day, millions of people wake up afraid of bullies. Bullying can happen anywhere, anytime. Bullies can be born out of boys and girls, men and women. Bullying is a big issue these days, and bullies’ actions are very unpredictable. No one knows who a bully’s next target might be and what their reasoning is. Today, bullying can be considered more extreme than it was even ten years ago, with the advent of the internet and resulting cyber-bullying. Many celebrities like Ellen Degeneres are speaking out for the cause, warning others about the dangers of bullying and the sometimes fatal consequences.
My modest proposal to end bullying forever is the anti-bully pill. Once FDA-approved, this pill will be the be-all end-all to bullying. Pills are available for almost any ailment today. Headache? Pop an Advil. ADD? Pop an Adderall. Parents should actively seek the symptoms of bullying in their children to see if they could benefit from an anti-bullying pill. Symptoms may include aggression, confidence, loudness, rudeness, lack of responsibility, competitiveness or violence. Incorporating a pill into a child’s daily routine will make schools and sidewalks safer places. No one wants to be a victim of bullying and one one wants to be the one to blame. Let’s save the children and bring bullying to an end.