Ridding the World of Fatties


One of the largest issues Americans are facing today is childhood obesity.  Over the past three decades childhood obesity has tripled and today about one in three children are overweight or obese. The numbers are even higher in African American and Hispanic communities with around 40% being overweight or obese.  The greatest problem with obesity is that often times it leads to diabetes and other health related problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, and asthma.  One of the reasons we are at this point as a nation is because of the switch to a fast paced and technologically advanced lifestyle.  People are busier than ever and fast food has become the most convenient option.  Portion sizes have gotten larger and children have become less active because they would rather sit inside and play with their iPhones or video games than go outside and play leading to the problem we need to work on resolving today.

My modest proposal is to get rid of all the fat kids in the country by getting rid of fast food chains and unhealthy food brands. 

Today Betches Love This tweeted “Michelle Obama’s evil scheme to rid the world of fatties is in place. Step One: Destroy Hostess”.  Inspired by this genius idea, I have devised a plan that will end childhood obesity for good.  Closing all fast food chains and unhealthy brands such as Hostess and Frito Lay will clearly solve the problem because there will be no more highly caloric food options out there for kids. How many jobs will be lost by this endeaver? 18,500 from Hostess closing alone, but hey who’s counting anyways? At least our kids won’t be fat anymore! We can put these workers to use by opening up new gyms across the country so that everyone has access and won’t have excuses not to go. Michelle Obama will be the happiest she’s ever been knowing there are no more fat children in our country. 


5 responses to “Ridding the World of Fatties

  1. It’s funny that you mention getting rid of Hostess. In case you haven’t heard the news, Hostess is going out of business because while they tripled their CEO’s pay, they couldn’t find the money to pay their workers. Either way, your wish has been granted (at least partially).

  2. Shoot, Brian beat me too it but definitely ironic that you chose to write about getting rid of Hostess products. I have always found them to be pretty disgusting since we did a science experiment on them in middle school, but they’re definitely a problem in American obesity. Despite the satire, you were pretty on point. Now we just have the jobs to worry about!

  3. I wrote my modest proposal on basically the same issue and suggested the same thing! I think it’s funny that you mentioned Hostess because I think the majority of their products are pretty gross and definitely unhealthy. With their recent bankruptcy, at least they’ll no longer be around! There’s still the Little Debbie snack products which are just as unhealthy, but I think people rarely eat snack cakes anymore so maybe with time, they’ll have the same fate as Hostess.

  4. I like this. I feel like job loss would be compensated for in other areas. This is something that I think would be done/maybe will be done when the worlds ready for it.

  5. I recently did a project for another class on McDonalds and fast food, and I’m impressed by the facts you used to set this up! Pretty funny timing with the whole Hostess going out of business so maybe this problem will get a little better on its own. We can only hope

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