A Modest Proposal: Export the Chinese Before Its Too Late!




DISCLAIMER: This is a satire and in no way representative of my beliefs.

Politicians in Washington have fought for weeks over the fiscal cliff and struggled to discover a way to save our economy while also securing our freedom from threats abroad. I have thought long and hard about this issue and have realized that the answer is right under our noses! The time has come  to intern and export Chinese citizens as we did with the Japanese in 1942. With a population of 1,347,350,000 to our mere 314,799,000 it is only a matter of time before the Chinese come for us. With numbers like these it is irresponsible to think otherwise. Has anyone seen the new trailer for Red Dawn? This work of fiction will become a clear reality when the Chinese run out of space and decide to collect on their debt by conquering America!

Luckily we still have time to act. The first step will be to target the most heavily populated areas such as “China Towns” in large American cities such as New York and San Francisco. Armed with the element of surprise, this preliminary strategy will ensure a high degree of success. Next we will have to arrest Chinese Americans entrenched within the US military. This action will eliminate the conflict of interest that will arise as the military continues to export Chinese throughout the country. Following this course of action is right for America in the best interest of our future generations.





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