A Modest Proposal: Death Sentence

**the following is satirical, and is not meant to be taken as a serious recommendation**

Our criminal justice system has for a long time stood as a shining example of equality, and due process.  However, there remains one important aspect of this “justice” that is tempering our ability as a country to mediate crime, and maintain civility in our society.  This aspect is the death sentence.  Historically, cultures have always used the death sentence to regulate criminal behavior.  It is only in our modern day where hippies roam freely, and fads like social justice, and racial equality run rampantly through the minds of our citizens that this necessary measure has been put on a back burner.  Each year, fewer and fewer people are being killed by our government which in turn is sending out a message to all those closet criminals who had previously been living in fear of having their heads lopped off.  In light of this I would like to make a modest proposal.  I propose that we use a justice system that provides only two options.  People should either be killed, or released.  If a criminal is judged by over half of a jury to be guilty, they should receive the death sentence.  If not they should be let free.  This will not only create a strong deterrent against criminal behavior, but also completely eliminate the need for our costly, overcrowded prison system.  It is evident my friends, that something must be done.  America has been called many things over the years, let us not allow “soft” to be added to the list.


10 responses to “A Modest Proposal: Death Sentence

  1. Well, adding this new death sentence measure would certainly prevent the U.S. from being called “soft.” I also like the way that our sterling reputation would switch from a due process style to die or be set free form. Maybe instead of the “yay or nay” ruling we should just flip a coin to make a decision?

  2. This seems like a great idea for reducing the population and crime at the same time! This solution is interesting and is just as practical and ridiculous as Swift’s. Would all crimes fall under this policy? It would be hard to decide what crimes are worthy of such punishment

  3. The Bruce Willis sequal “Live Free or Die Hard” would take on an entirely new meaning here in the states! I imagine a talented defense lawyer would be in even higher demand than today with such consequences…

  4. This is certainly a practice that would discourage crime and eliminate the crime-causing population. It would probably also be a good filter for evolution by getting rid of the criminal gene. There is potential for creating a “perfect” society! The only problem I can see from this would be determining what kind of crimes qualify for this punishment.

  5. Wow this really does sound like the perfect solution to regulating criminal behavior! It would definitely deter people from committing the crimes in the first place and then solve the problem of overcrowding in jails if they were convicted. Would this method of prosecution be used for all types of criminal activity?

  6. Keep it simple! There will be no weak spots or flaws. You know the rules and you control your fate. But, what about accidents? Its very similar to An eye for an eye mentality.

  7. I agree with Kyle here. America has become so soft over the years! It is evident that there is an issue with crime and violence in this country, so we need to scare us fellow americans into not doing anything like this. Considering how many people are sent to prison in this country, it is evident that the reality of living your life behind bars simply isn’t that horrifying. If the last thing that comes into a criminals head right before they commit a crime is death, they are much less likely to do it. Let’s scare these people and put an end to violence!

  8. I’m really liking where this idea is going. I can see it now actually…it could be just like in the Roman times! If anyone has seen Gladiator they know that the emperor would always give a thumbs up or down if the gladiator shall live or die. We could have President Obama do the same and give a thumbs up or down to each criminal that goes through the system. It’ll definitely eliminate crime all together in my opinion.

  9. What a great way to get rid of criminals. Think about all the money we’ll save now that we won’t have to maintain so many prisons and inmates! I agree with Nicola, this is a great way to weed out those criminal genes and create a perfect society!

  10. Haha this reminds me of the “Fear over Love” article by Machiavelli (I believe) who claims that he would rather people fear him than love him. He believes that those who make promises based off fear keep those promises because they are truly scared, but those based on love can easily be broken. If criminals had the option to be released or be killed, there would definitely be a decrease in crime.

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